The days before Christmas.......

Are a little bit different this year! I am going through the motions,shopping,cleaning,cooking,decorating,but I feel like I am doing it all on autopilot,I am not excited,I am weary,my workload has been heavy these past weeks and I am ready for a few days respite.We are having my Mum here for Christmas...her first without my Dad,the very thought of which actually gives me chest pains,but I will make it a good day! I will delight in my girls opening their gifts at an ungodly hour,I shall don my sparkliest earings ,eat chocolates before lunch(possibly for breakfast)I shall wear my favourite Christmas pinny and make my Mother sit in the kitchen and drink sparkling wine whilst I cook the most delicious feast,I will listen to the Queens speech and stifle my inner anarchist,I will start to imagine my sitting room without the Christmas tree which half blocks the tv,I will silently swear to myself that gluttony is the most heinous of sins and therefore I shall drink litres of water for the next week and eat frugally,I shall laugh and probably cry too at the Royle family Christmas special ! I so love Caroline Ahernes writing! anyone see 'The fattest man in Britain'? I wept like a baby! and finally...it will be over,very soon it will be another year,Gosh how I have changed this past year,what a journey! I have had to deal with hubbys unemployment,losing my Dad,me finding a day job...and yet...I am still standing,next year will be better,I know this.

Arent I doing good Dad? xx